I actually played the game

Stumble upon a vessel casket in a Difficulty [1]

Get 2+ Abilities at any one time

In Rogue Convergence win a Difficulty [1] run

Get 5+ Weapons at any one time

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Argon Bearer class

Get a 55+ Speed body stat

Get a 33+ Defence body stat

Buy out all of the items in a shop

Destroy a mighty Mega Enemy

Stumble upon a vessel casket in a Difficulty [2]

In Rogue Convergence win a Difficulty [2] run

The first of many.. . but don't lose hope little vessel

Unlock 11+ other Class Vessels

Get 5+ Drones at any one time

Suffer 333+ Hurt during a run

Discover 33% of the Bestiary enemies

Stumble upon a vessel casket in a Difficulty [3]

Fondle a weapon endowed with a Mega Trait

Destroy an enemy affected by the Cursed status

Get a score of 51565+

Hack a Restless Remnants sector device in Rogue Convergence

Hold a big bulging Mega Weapon

In Rogue Convergence win a Difficulty [3] run

In Survival Function endure a Difficulty [1] swarm sector

Accept the deal of 5+ Encrypted Strangers in a run

Behold the delights of Swollen Balls

Blow your mind with a Mega Ability

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Emeralt Bearer class

Upgrade 5 Weapons to at least level 3

In Rogue Convergence win a Difficulty [4] run

Stumble upon a vessel casket in a Difficulty [4]

Find and hack open a Treasure Chest

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Gunslinger Desperado class

Make best buddies with a Mega Drone

Get 33+ Passive Items at any one time

Stumble upon a vessel casket in a Difficulty [5]

Get 333+ Cogs at any one time

In Rogue Convergence win a Difficulty [5] run

Get 2+ Mega Weapons at any one time

Upgrade a starting weapon to Level 3

Unlock 22+ other Class Vessels

Get yourself a roaring Rocket Launcher weapon

In Survival Function endure a Difficulty [2] swarm sector

Discover 69% of the Bestiary enemies

Get 9+ Traitum items from Schematic Engraver shops

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Serenos Bearer class

Get 3+ Cog Sniffer Drones at any one time

In Rogue Convergence win a Difficulty [6] run

In Campaign Reconnexus win a Difficulty [1] run

On the title screen press Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right

Hope you're not streaming this embarrassment!

Hold weapons from 5 different Element Affinities

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Vulium Bearer class

Re-roll the Shop Contacts 9+ times in a run

Get a score of 111111+

Destroy a Conservator Custodian without getting hit

Attain the pinnacle of vigilous armaments... a Giga Weapon

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Droneraiser Minioneer class

In Survival Function endure a Difficulty [3] swarm sector

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Zenon Bearer class

Add every Weapon item to the Codex Compendium

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Abilitary Connoisseur class

Speak with a Class Heritage envoy who has every item offering unlocked

Win a game of Clashful Cards

In Rogue Convergence win a Difficulty [7] run

In Survival Function endure a Difficulty [4] swarm sector

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Argon Bearer class

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Depreciated Wretch class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Gunslinger Desperado class

Get a stupendously supersized Score of 169696+

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Errant Knight class

Add every Traitum item to the Codex Compendium

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Elementless Forsaken class

Get 3+ Impostus Drones at any one time

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Droneraiser Minioneer class

In Survival Function endure a Difficulty [5] swarm sector

During play don't move for 22 seconds

Add every Ability item to the Codex Compendium

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Emeralt Bearer class

Get 3+ Hexooist Drones at any one time

In Survival Function endure a Difficulty [6] swarm sector

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Mimic Mouldmaker class

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Straima Ninja class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Abilitary Connoisseur class

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Blacksmith Forger class

In Survival Function endure a Difficulty [7] swarm sector

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Debug Dummy class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Argon Bearer class

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Vampire Survivor class

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Monster Hunter class

Get 3+ Eggy Weggy Drones at any one time

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Errant Knight class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Serenos Bearer class

Win a Rogue Convergence Difficulty [3] run getting a score of 69696+

In Campaign Reconnexus win a Difficulty [2] run

Add every Drone item to the Codex Compendium

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Orbilas Kindle class

Win any run in Nightmare Mode

In a Rogue Convergence accept the Survive challenge and endure a swarm sector

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Mental Alchemistal class

Unlock every starting weapon

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Blacksmith Forger class

Collect every single Hat unlock

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Depreciated Wretch class

Win a Rogue Convergence in Nightmare Mode

Collect every single Clashful Card

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Cog Gobbler class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Mimic Mouldmaker class

Add every Elemental item to the Codex Compendium

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Vulium Bearer class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Debug Dummy class

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Guild Merchant class

In a Preparatory Sector add a hackable to one of the slots

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Meathead Juicer class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Vampire Survivor class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Straima Ninja class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Zenon Bearer class

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Bunker Buster class

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Junk Booter class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Orbilas Kindle class

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Recycler Automaton class

In Campaign Reconnexus win a Difficulty [3] run

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Dodgy Networker class

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Traitron Tinkerer class

In Voidworld Trials submit a score in the Weekly Survival Trial

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Elementless Forsaken class

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Ethereal Eternal class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Monster Hunter class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Meathead Juicer class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Mental Alchemistal class

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Amongoussy Allurer class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Junk Booter class

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Psycho Possessed class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function in Nightmare Mode

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Guild Merchant class

In Voidworld Trials submit a score in the Weekly Rogue Trial

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Traitron Tinkerer class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Gunslinger Desperado class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Bunker Buster class

Purchase a pulse pumping Mega Passive item

In a Preparatory Sector add hackables to all 4 slots

Get a collection of 696+ jaw dropping Cogs at any one time

In Campaign Reconnexus win a Difficulty [4] run

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Accursed Wracked class

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Banished Prisoner class

In Clashful Cards get a Win Streak of 3+

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Ethereal Eternal class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Amongoussy Allurer class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Dodgy Networker class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Emeralt Bearer class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Psycho Possessed class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Recycler Automaton class

In Campaign Reconnexus win a Difficulty [5] run

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Malware Corrupted class

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Salvage Stripper class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Cog Gobbler class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Accursed Wracked class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Malware Corrupted class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Banished Prisoner class

In Campaign Reconnexus win a Difficulty [6] run

Add every Passive item to the Codex Compendium

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Dark Metaman class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Dark Metaman class

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Pussy Purrer class

Discover 100% of the Bestiary enemies

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Enfeebled Watcher class

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Scoreum Chaser class

In a Campaign Reconnexus accept the Survive challenge and endure a swarm sector

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Errant Knight class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Salvage Stripper class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Serenos Bearer class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Droneraiser Minioneer class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Enfeebled Watcher class

Beat a Rogue Convergence using Fortuity Destiny to select your Class, Difficulty, and Starting Weapon

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Eggcellent Eggy class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Pussy Purrer class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using Fortuity Destiny to select your Class, Difficulty, and Starting Weapon

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Tofu Chaser class

In Campaign Reconnexus win a Difficulty [7] run

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Debug Dummy class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Elementless Forsaken class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Mimic Mouldmaker class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Depreciated Wretch class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Eggcellent Eggy class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Monster Hunter class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Abilitary Connoisseur class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Vulium Bearer class

Win a Rogue Convergence Difficulty [2] run without ever Dashing

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Orbilas Kindle class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Zenon Bearer class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Dark Metaman class

In Voidworld Trials submit a score in the Weekly Campaign Trial

Win a Rogue Convergence Difficulty [1] run without ever getting Hurt

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Vampire Survivor class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Blacksmith Forger class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Bunker Buster class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Traitron Tinkerer class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus in Nightmare Mode

Win a Rogue Convergence Difficulty [5] run without getting any Mega Weapons/Abilities/Drones

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Junk Booter class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Psycho Possessed class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Salvage Stripper class

Add every Hackable item to the Codex Compendium

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Meathead Juicer class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Mental Alchemistal class

Win a Rogue Convergence Difficulty [7] run without upgrading your Weapons

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Recycler Automaton class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Straima Ninja class

Win a Rogue Convergence Difficulty [4] run without getting any Abilities nor Drones

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Accursed Wracked class

In Bossious Rush survive beyond the elementless 6th boss

Beat a Campaign Reconnexus using Fortuity Destiny to select your Class, Difficulty, and Starting Weapon

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Cog Gobbler class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Dodgy Networker class

In Bossious Rush get a score of 111111+

Win a Rogue Convergence Difficulty [6] run in under 22 minutes and 22 seconds

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Enfeebled Watcher class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Ethereal Eternal class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Guild Merchant class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Pussy Purrer class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Amongoussy Allurer class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Banished Prisoner class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Eggcellent Eggy class

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Tofu Chaser class

In Voidworld Trials submit a score in the Weekly Bossious Trial

In any Voidworld Trial get a score of 33333+

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Malware Corrupted class

In Voidworld Trials win a run in any of the game modes

For I gazed within the void.. and found only perfection!

Win a Rogue Convergence using the Elden Reforged class

Survive a swarm sector in a Survival Function using the Elden Reforged class

In Bossious Rush survive beyond the final element 5th boss in Nightmare Mode

Win a Campaign Reconnexus using the Elden Reforged class