Goat Simulator news & patch notes

Hey goats!

Features

• Do Pranks, Get Paid.
• FOUR AWESOME GOATS, seriously these guys are like they’re from an Al Pancake movie.
• PRANKNET - The static contract database.
• Drive Cars! (Just like that other game)
• Buy things, use your easy-earned cash to buy masks. Mostly masks. Okay only masks.
• More masks - because obviously we haven’t been clear enough.
• Unlock new, even dumber stuff.

Hey goats!

Features

• Do Pranks, Get Paid.
• FOUR AWESOME GOATS, seriously these guys are like they’re from an Al Pancake movie.
• PRANKNET - The static contract database.
• Drive Cars! (Just like that other game)
• Buy things, use your easy-earned cash to buy masks. Mostly masks. Okay only masks.
• More masks - because obviously we haven’t been clear enough.
• Unlock new, even dumber stuff.

• Texture streaming! woohoo! This means big memory savings.
• Better mod support (you’re welcome Geneosis). And thank you btw.
• All mods should now work on Mac/Linux
• Greatly decreased workshop item size
• Delete Local content should now work.
• Better Mac and Linux optimization.
• Interp Actor optimization.
• Cull Distance optimization.
• Some other random optimizations.
• Stephen Hawking’s voice is now back.
• Opening Main Menu no longer reloads the map.
• Main Menu can now be opened from workshop levels.
• MMO: Fixed Old Goat Quest.
• GoatZ: Hunger rate decreased, you will survive longer without food.
• GoatZ: You can now see quest rewards.
• GoatZ: Added a No Hunger Mutator.
• GoatZ: Achievement for finding all Trophies in GoatZ.
• GoatZ: Fixed the issue where GoatZ wouldn't show in map list.
• Lol, fire alarm just started beeping. Gonna have change b82rez again.

• Texture streaming! woohoo! This means big memory savings.
• Better mod support (you’re welcome Geneosis). And thank you btw.
• All mods should now work on Mac/Linux
• Greatly decreased workshop item size
• Delete Local content should now work.
• Better Mac and Linux optimization.
• Interp Actor optimization.
• Cull Distance optimization.
• Some other random optimizations.
• Stephen Hawking’s voice is now back.
• Opening Main Menu no longer reloads the map.
• Main Menu can now be opened from workshop levels.
• MMO: Fixed Old Goat Quest.
• GoatZ: Hunger rate decreased, you will survive longer without food.
• GoatZ: You can now see quest rewards.
• GoatZ: Added a No Hunger Mutator.
• GoatZ: Achievement for finding all Trophies in GoatZ.
• GoatZ: Fixed the issue where GoatZ wouldn't show in map list.
• Lol, fire alarm just started beeping. Gonna have change b82rez again.

• (Mac)Special characters in the steam profile name no longer cause a black screen with the beach-ball of death.
• Gamepad support fixed.
• (Mac)The mouse is captured correctly at startup.
• The mouse is contained within the screens boundaries.
• Reset keybindings now works.
• You can now get the Involuntary QA achievement if the game crashes!
• The Flappy Goat's hitbox is unchanged.

• (Mac)Special characters in the steam profile name no longer cause a black screen with the beach-ball of death.
• Gamepad support fixed.
• (Mac)The mouse is captured correctly at startup.
• The mouse is contained within the screens boundaries.
• Reset keybindings now works.
• You can now get the Involuntary QA achievement if the game crashes!
• The Flappy Goat's hitbox is unchanged.

• Fixed hitbox on flappy goat
• Fixed some borked achievements like "GoatBuilt" etc.
• Worked on super secret things
• Fixed some borked quests.
• Shrek is love
• Shrek is life
• Assorted bugfixes
• Made hitbox on flappy goat worse again

• Fixed hitbox on flappy goat
• Fixed some borked achievements like "GoatBuilt" etc.
• Worked on super secret things
• Fixed some borked quests.
• Shrek is love
• Shrek is life
• Assorted bugfixes
• Made hitbox on flappy goat worse again

• Added local splitscreen multiplayer
• Added a new map, try it out in the “custom game” section
• The humans have been given a brain with the cognitive abilities of a 4 year old
• Humans consequently learned to speak. You’ll wish they hadn’t.
• Added more goats
• Isn’t this kid super cute? http://vimeo.com/95834056
• Made fun of Michael Bay. Again. Please don’t sue.
• Added more powers
• Fixed the hitbox of flappy goat
• Poured several buckets full of Optimization™ into the game
• Made sure no class differences exists in Goat City Bay
• Added tons of achievements
• You can now run along walls
• You can now run up walls
• Stand by for Goatfall
• Changed batteries in our fire alarm
• The Goats have learned to ride bikes, press R to mount.
• The Goats have learned to ride longboards, press R to mount.
• The Humans have learned how to ride Goats
• Enjoyed flappy goat
• You can now buy hats for money
• This woman made her skin look 20 years younger DOCTORS HATE HER click here
• Fixed display of Int enchantments on crafted gear
• Applying plastic wrap around your screen will now give you a 3D-effect.
• Added VR support
• Reverted hitbox of flappy goat
• Made hitbox worse on flappygoat
• Removed Flappy Goat, I hate that fucking game.
• Got 11 points on Flappy Goat; readded Flappy Goat.
• Spent more time writing jokes about Flappy Goat than working on the patch
• Changed the points required for the Flappy Goat Achievement from 10 to 30
• Just kidding.
• Removed VR support
• Ultra-realistic water simulation
• Fire alarm still beeping
• You can now swim. Well not really swim, more like float around in a semi-controlled buoyant propulsion fashion.
• Added volume slider in options for NPC speech.
• Deadmau5 has finally left EDM. Is now making Goatronica.
• We went to see Godzilla. It was ok. Cool sound effects.
• Updated patch notes.
• Added a lot of new sound effects.
• Mary had a little ... GOAT!? Historians uncover new evidence, click here!
• There is a new game inside of the game, it’s called SteamWorld Goat.
• Honored Notch
• Changed batteries in fire alarm. Again.
• Wanted to add shadows to buildable blocks but couldn’t figure out how, can someone please tell us?
• Patch notes now covers more than an A4.
• Seriously stop making threads asking about patch notes 4 seconds after the patch goes live, calm down
• Game downloading, does anyone have the patch notes?
• New patch?
• Patch released today does anyone know what it does
• Where are the patch notes
• Fire alarm still beeping
• Why is the patch so big?
• Lazy devs.
• If you want we can zip it, then rar it to make it smaller. Do you want it on Megaupload?
• Is this game worth it? Should I buy?
• Devs please put the game on a sale so I can save 4 bucks
• I don’t like ___, please add an option to remove ___
• Performed Satanic rituals to summon Phil Fish
• Plz come back
• Actually optimized the game a bit
• What use are ladders when you can run on the walls?
• I hate water
• Played a whole lot of Wildstar
• Volvo pls fix ___.
• Added a Capture the Flag game mode.
• Added Uncle Goat, I’m sorry about my Goat.
• Added a Capture the Flag game mode.
• Added five new colors, all of which are unseeable by the human eye.
• We actually bought a stuffed goat head IRL for our office, we have no idea what to do with it.
• Updated our Meta Score to 91/100.
• Killed PC gaming
• How long will the patch notes be?
• Changed batteries in the other fire alarm
• Increased Storm Spirit’s Static Remnant AoE by 15.
• Ride a bike with a human on your back. Not like this dude: http://youtu.be/B7-6nXGflec
• You can now play ragdoll goat hockey!